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How much is this worth?
Thea Indigo Kingsley - age 5
Thea & Grace Kingsley
You put the 'Zing' in Amazing Grace'
Thank you, Heidi
I want to know Gods thoughts,
the rest are details.
If you have ever been called
defiant, incorrigible, forward,
cunning, insurgent, unruly,
rebellious, youre on the right track.
-Clarissa Pinkola Estes
The Truth is whatever you
Believe it is.
radiant health is an inside job
How I came in. When I was eleven, for about a New York minute, I wanted to become a nun. I quickly got, at that time, that maybe the obedient part wasnt my cup of tea. The religious part wasnt but the spiritual aspect was a Big pull. Still is. I came in that way.
At fifteen, and this is one of those technicolor moments, I wanted two things: I wanted to be an actress, and, who was this guy Plato who wrote this incredible story called The Cave and I just Knew it was important but did not fully get it. What is reality, what is illusion?
Plato's Cave according to Wikipedia: Plato imagines a group of people who have lived chained in a cave all of their lives, facing a blank wall. The people watch shadows projected on the wall by things passing in front of the cave entrance, and begin to ascribe forms to these shadows. According to Plato, the shadows are as close as the prisoners get to seeing reality. He then explains how the philosopher is like a prisoner who is freed from the cave and comes to understand that the shadows on the wall are not constitutive of reality at all, as he can perceive the true form of reality rather than the mere shadows seen by the prisoners.
What makes me tic, what turns me on? Oh man, whatever that was, I dug it big time. I would get goose bumps and had to know much, much more. This aspect of my life has become the most prevailing, deepest aspect of me: the desire to Know how it is, how it works, at the very deep place. Quantum Physics beats beautifully and heavily at the door.
My life provided me ample opportunity to explore both of these aspects: Acting and Philosophy. My deepest loves and ambitions. And now: Pumping Poop. I just love that I get that its all the same! I just love that everything true is about getting down and dirty, taking care of business, and coming up Roses!
What I believe. "Someone asked us recently, Is there any limitation to the body's ability to heal? And we said, None, other than the belief that you hold. And he said, Then why aren't people growing new limbs? And we said, Because no one believes that they can." -Abraham
Its not about getting stuck and staying there. Its about the Epiphany of Rising like the Phoenix out of the ashes of ignorance. Its about Risking and being willing to do what it takes. Its about getting messy and ruining yourself, sometimes.
And guess what. At that point we get glimpses. What we get to have is a Knowing of what Incredibly Great Beings we really are. Its all in how we perceive it.
So I am a believer. I believe we can make magic and miracles. We are made in that Image and Likeness. Thats the bottom line of me.
When I was 45, after I had completed my last New York City Marathon - wowee - I began, as a single woman, the process of adopting an infant from Asuncion, Paraguay, no less!. When I was 46, I was on my way, with a suitcase full of baby bottles and every kind of nipple in existence, and an inflatable baby bathtub and the correct rubber duckie. The correct rubber duckie was the one that was on Sesame Street. I also brought Elmo. We still have the original Elmo. We lost Big Bird but I always bought things in twos, but then we lost that one, also. I spent a small fortune on Big Birds. And we still dont have one. Thea doesnt mind. Im the one who still obsesses over Big Bird. Then, of course, Thea had to have Burt and Ernie so she could strap them in — within an inch of their lives — into her baby stroller, fully equipped with diapers, bottles, snacks, and a very big purse. This was key. And the purse had to be stuffed. Otherwise, we could not leave the apartment. We lived in New York City.
I could go on forever with my version of nesting and giving birth . Ill spare you. The thing is, I was on my way to Paraguay to adopt my month old baby girl. And when I held her, I got to know the true meaning of buckling knees. I sank to the floor when they handed her to me. I had plans to adopt two, but life happened. And when your children out number you, watch out!
Thea Indigo Kingsleys first picture (above) says it all. "Whos the nut case? Oh bleep, shes my mother." Photos of me at the time looked like I was on heavy amphetamines. WIRED! Like, too insane to be considered real in the movie version. And so it began. August 21, 2009 she experienced her 21st birthday. The family portraits you see above were taken for the occasion.
For anyone who has ever had a child, you know that you will most likely be shaken to the core. They are our greatest gurus. Learn well. I was humbled to the bone. And I adore her as no other. My darling girl, Thea Indigo Kingsley, TT. You are the Gift. You are God. You are also the Devil, of course. You love to call me Cruella DVille. We are glued. She is a Dancer and her core essence will always be that, I suspect, just as mine will always be in the theatre. She attended University of North Carolina School of the Arts and Cornish College of the Arts. She danced with so many dance companies every summer during school, from age 12 on. She has now moved away from home and beginning her own new chapter. So, thats all folks. I died and went to heaven/hell. Yep, all one! There will never be anyone more important to you than your child, as I experience it.
Grace and Kenneth in Impressions On Love
I went to Catholic University of America, a very cool, internationally hip school with a priest named Father Hartke in the Drama Department. He was the Pearl Mesta of priests. He knew everyone and at the time and was thick with the Johnsons, as in President - Lyndon and Lady Bird, and he manifested (in my Senior year) a six week State-Department Sponsored theatre troop tour of six European countries and Israel. We were entertained by Golda Mayer in her home. The whole event took a while for all of us to process. Years, I think. It still surprises me. It was magical.
This University, in our nations exciting capital, is where I met and married my husband, Kenneth, with celebration at the Mayflower Hotel. We traveled the world together. He was one of the producers of Just the Immediate Family, the play I wrote which was produced off Broadway, New York City, and gave us all, involved, significantly multidimensional life experiences. I am so proud of the work we all did and the privileged opportunity we gave ourselves. Again, risking and ruining ourselves, risking and experiencing everything possible all at once! Bloody wild and wonderful ultimately.
Kenneth is a Great Human Being. We were married for thirteen years. I love Ken to this day and wish him every joy imaginable. We went our separate ways and thats OK, too. And so it goes.
Between college and Thea, I was an actress and a playwright. I always loved how they spelled playwright - like constructing a ship. I gave my heart. It was my heart. I was born with this theatrical desire. I adored our friends, I adored their Spirit. There is something about never knowing where your next job is coming from that teaches you to take risks, to trust, to be bold and watch mighty forces come to your aid (or not). There is a sense of loss for me, regarding the Spirit among actors. There is Nothing in my experience that will ever match it. A company of actors is as true a family as anyone would every want . And Shakespeare was a passion for so long. Thank you, Shakespeare. What confluence of mysteries and magic manifested this wonderous, unfathomable, Miracle of Shakespeare? Where in Gods name did you come from, man?! You sure did bring me to Heaven.
I miss my best friend, Richard, huge Spirit and Light in the world. He was a Renaissance man of the theatre. He died on his way to a rehearsal. He died in the saddle. Deep loss of the Heart. There will never be another friend to match him.
My bathroom is called "Down the Rabbit Hole". Richard would have loved it. Central is a very large poster of the tea party with The Mad Hatter — looks exactly as Richard would have played him on stage; The White Rabbit — me, of course, with eyes bulging in disbelief; the door mouse — Theas cat; and of course, Alice — Thea. The Hatter and Rabbit are heavily engaged in cross-examining Alice. Its intensity is delicious. My daughter said to me "Mom, its a family portrait!" I sure do miss Richard. And so it goes. You can still see this on line. Richard's Memorial
A Bodhisattva I met along the way was Lex Hixon. Yale graduate. Spiritual teacher. Great talent. Author of quite a number of Spiritual books including Great Swan - meetings with Ramakrishna. He had a radio show in New York City for 17 years (1972 to 1989) called In the Spirit. He interviewed every spiritual leader of the times. Lex moved my heart and life as no other. There is no hesitation in attesting to that. Wherever you are Lex, you are Healing the World, you Great Being. I was profoundly transformed by your presence. Sarada-Kali-Lex. He died at 53. The mystery Why? I hope we meet again. And so it goes.
... and when [he] shall die
Take him and cut him out in little stars,
And he will make the face of heaven so fine
That all the world will be in love with night
And pay no worship to the garish sun.
from Romeo and Juliet -Shakespeare
Destiny has blessed me with four transformative relationships: a mother, a daughter, two sisters (not biological).
My daughter: Ive spoken of above.
My Mother: Annunziata (Nancy) was an Innocent on the planet. There was not a single evil cell in her body. She died far too young. She follows me in the form of trees in front of where ever I am living and working. There has always been a Mother tree which is clearly her.
Dory and Marg: Two sisters (not biological). Both dancers and actors like my daughter and me. But far more than that. Its the Spirit of Dance that they embody. Freedom and Flight. Even more: they embody Loyalty and total unwavering Love. Love like an eternal flame.
Sculpture: Berninis David, Apollo and Daphane,The Ecstasy of St. Teresa;the Bethesda Fountain in Central Park, New York; and Rodins dancers.
Movie favorites: Sophies Choice; Cinema Paradiso; Amarcord; Heaven (Blanchett & Ribisi)
Music: Classical chamber music; anything that Yoyo Ma plays. Music from the film Heaven composed by Arvo Part has become a haunting favorite.
Architecture: My favorite building is the Chrysler Building in New York City and Chartres Cathedral
To Do: Travel to Europe; seeing Beautiful Art and Spaces; Being Useful to People and Seeing them Transform; Silence and Stillness (maybe #1)
Favorite Reading: Inspirational reading (so many), but www.abraham-hicks.com has been a constant inspiration last 20 years; Shakespeare (the book to save if the ship is sinking); To the Lighthouse by Virginia Woolfe; My Antonia by Willa Cather; and I grew up with Kurt Vonnegut. (a favorite with college students during my time) He changed perceptions, flipped language and was hysterical. Breakfast of Champions, a favorite.
Quantum Physics: Another thing interests me, as it did when I was 16, but did not have a name for it. I am interested in Quantum Physics. Its saying to us, in purely laymens terms: Reality, at the most basic level of existence, is what we Percieve it to be. This is how I see it.
I will quote the great Federico Fellini
"I am always expecting something...I dont know what".
Like a child, is it not? Great Expectations. Inside, always that anticipation, that joy of Infinite Possibilities. Claim it for yourself!
This is also how I feel about life. "I am always expecting something...I dont know what".
Do you love getting up in the morning? Are you filled with energy, enthusiasm, excitement? And the fourth E: Are you Engaged? And I dont mean to be married. Are you involved in Life? If not, you need a house cleaning. Are you up for it? If not, you are dying. I can say this easily because I am not against death, I just think most people think thats how it is. Theres not a choice. But listen, you are making a choice no matter what happens, so lets look at the Real options. Its your choice. I can assist, guide. I am interested in Quality of Daily Life. I am interested in Radiant Health. Always remember:
So, my dear, if it is not working for you, perceive it differently.
Lets get on track, I can assist.
I welcome and invite you to Petaluma Healing Arts & Rejuvenation Center where the Guest is God.
I welcome you with all my heart.
You are my path. Allow me to guide you in your travels to radiance.
Blessings to you.
You are beautiful.
You are pure potential.
You can choose from Infinite Possibilities. Theres Radiant Health there.
The Truth is whatever you Believe it is. Choose well. -Grace Kingsley
-radiant health is an inside job